Resurrection Reunion

The two leaders sat at a table in a quaint little coffee shop aptly named “The Sentient Bean.” It was only a short walk from the largest of the few small parks in the area and served Virgil’s brand root beer, which Epiphany seemed quite pleased to discover in her present dehydrated state.  

“There’s something wrong. It just doesn’t feel quite right anymore,” commented Morgaine gazing listlessly across the room at a few crumbs left on an abandoned table yet to be cleaned.  

“I know what you mean, but I can’t place my finger on what’s wrong,” agreed Epiphany, who sat in the chair to the left of Morgaine, sipping her root beer.  A moment of silence followed and then Epiphany relocated to the next seat now facing Morgaine.   

“That’s a little better.  I am used to you being directly across from me. I like to see my foe’s face… but, that’s not what is wrong,” Morgaine stopped her thought rather abruptly and glancing to the empty chair on her right, to the empty chair on her left, and then up to Epiphany. Her expression shifted and a familiar smirk crossed her face, “I think it’s time for another resurrection.”

“Maybe… why? Who do you want to resurrect now?”  Epiphany perplexed paused mid-sip and starred across the table at the mafia leader.


The next day…

Everyone was having a perfectly lovely time talking, reminiscing, and eating pizza just as they had many times before but this time for no discernable reason Epiphany fell into silent hysterics. The others just sat confused looking from one to the other in vain trying to figure out why their little robotic shepherdess found the former statement so amusing.

“What did you just say?” asked the robot, barely able to coax the words from her mouth in between her fits of laughter.

“Why? What do you think I said?”

“I don’t know. All I heard was ‘communist sex’ and I know you’re a Nazi muffin, but communist sex doesn’t have a place in any conversation I’ve ever heard before,”  and after a few random remarks were made by all, she concluded, “it’s so nice having you all here with me. Especially you, muffin dearest! I’m so glad we decided to resurrect you again.” Epiphany swept up by emotion gave the little Nazi muffin a squeeze and then released her.

“Just as long as I don’t have to bathe again,” pouted the muffin with a slight shiver. That morning Epiphany and Fred had forced the muffin to bathe and she resented them for it the whole day, not seeing a point to daily showers and such; after all, she argued, she still had the same banana nut appearance every day, bath or no bath. Regardless of the fights over muffiny cleanliness and long periods of waiting while Fred coordinated an outfit in the morning, Epiphany, Morgaine, Fred, and the muffiny one were having a pleasant reunion. “By the way, who else was resurrected lately besides me?”

“Well,” began Morgaine, “I needed a new leader for some of my mafia troops and there may or may not be something in the works right now,” slyly glancing over to Epiphany, who returned the glance, “but that’s beside the point, we can get to that later.  Any ways, Epiphany and I decided to bring back a bit of color and amusement to this war. So, we of course thought you, o muffiny one, would be a natural choice for resurrection, and we brought back one of the war’s earlier victims. Remember that pine cone fight and the girl in the background who was an unplanned casualty? She was resurrected not so much because of her contribution to the war but because… well, we thought it would be amusing to see her die again or at least choke on something for old times’ sake. Mainly, we were just in the mood for resurrections so we decided to bring her back as a kind of ‘I’m sorry we indirectly killed you’ kind of a gift. She should be good for some laughs along the way I think.”

“How many more people do you need to lead your troops? You already stole Camilla from me last week!” complained Epiphany rehashing on the former statement made by Morgaine, “and now you’ve gone and resurrected someone else to command your armies too! Don’t you think this gives you an unfair advantage? Sometimes I think you make things a little too biased in your favor.”

“No need to get testy Widget. Don’t forget you still have Hitler to command your troops. Anyways, it was only natural I steal Camilla since she was stationed closer to my headquarters, and besides, we are working for the same goal in the end and I don’t think that her being on one side or another matters much. Do you? ” questioned Morgaine sarcastically with a smirk, “plus, with the vacancy in your forces, there’s a place for the new resurrected girl. You, Fred, and the new girl working together… sound good?”  

“Fine. But first I think we should find out her actual name. After all, I don’t think we can keep on calling her ‘the new girl’ or ‘the resurrected girl’ or ‘the girl who died by way of chocolate cupcake.’ Although I do like the last one.”

“O.k. you do that… and I’ll find out how Camilla likes her new arrangements in Italy.”  The two leaders found themselves in a familiar lock of glaring and smirking… the lock soon after to be broken by the muffin, who sent a rogue pillow whirling through the air at Morgaine’s head. Now laying flat on her back Morgaine added monotonously, “thank you, muffin. A pillow to the head is exactly what I wanted right now… and to show my appreciation I’ll wish you a happy and speedy trip to Mexico, as soon as the opportunity presents itself.”

“That’s convenient. We did need someone over in Mexico. How long are you going to be there?” inquired Epiphany, ignoring the random act of violence the Nazi muffin was prone to displaying from time to time.

“A  couple of weeks. I think that should be long enough to convert an adequate number of Mexican children to the cause, and then we shall rule the world! ” exclaimed the muffin brandishing a child-size banana nut fist in the air.

“How many weeks are a couple of weeks? Two, three…? “ asked Fred.

“Two weeks.”

“Really? I thought a couple meant more.. . like maybe three weeks….”

“NO,” interjected Epiphany rather forcefully, “a couple is two. Not three. Not four. Just two. As in a couple of people are two people. A couple is definitely two… TWO.”

“Jesus muffin!….  ok, Widget. Everything will be alright. A couple is just two. We get the  point,” agreed Morgaine, “Now, back to business. What is on the agenda for tomorrow?”

“I don’t know what do you guys want to do?” posed the Nazi muffin.

“I don’t care. Anything is ok for me,” added Fred.

“I don’t know. Does anyone want to do anything in particular?” inquired Epiphany hopefully.

“Nothing really in particular,” iterated the muffin unimportantly.

“We’re so decisive,” remarked Morgaine sarcastically, “It’s astonishing anything ever gets done at all. No wonder the war is still going on.”